


Loneliness and other fears

by patheticvillain



Category: DCU, The Magnus Archives (Podcast)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-02-18
Updated: 2020-02-18
Packaged: 2021-02-28 00:34:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,127
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22784938
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/patheticvillain/pseuds/patheticvillain
Summary: Set in the DC universe with a fear-entity based system yanked outta The Magnus Archives jammed right in there.Rating subject to change.
Comments: 15
Kudos: 18





	Loneliness and other fears

**Author's Note:**

> fellas, im just mashing my hyperfocus' together like a seven year old girl with two dollies. i have a vague idea on where im going with this, by that i mean i have a cork board filled with nonsense and red string.  
> Warnings for vague implication of child neglect/abandonment, possible others as the story continues.

Tim Drake who grew up alone in his big house.

  
Tim Drake who had to see his parents take off for months, only to come back for a week at best.

  
Tim Drake who knew his parents’ faces less than he knew the face of his housekeeper.

  
Little Tim Drake wandering around Gotham unsupervised, peering through windows and seeing happy families in warmly lit homes, seeing friends meeting for coffee, strangers talking at bus stops, and knowing that if he stood out, they would notice him, but they would ask questions he wasn’t comfortable answering.

  
Tim Drake taking photos of these moments, and going back to his empty house and staring at them and feeling the unending loneliness consume him.

  
Tim Drake exploring Gotham at night, only to be seen by a well-meaning stranger, them asking if he was lost, where his parents were? If he needed help.

  
And him panicking, wishing he was alone, that they would disappear...

  
And they did, he was all alone again, on the now empty street.

  
Looking at the windows and storefronts, all now empty as he makes his journey back home. Even at this late-ish hour, Gotham always had someone still up sharing the streets with Tim, disturbing his solitude. But now, every alley empty, every light dark, nothing but cold concrete and steel and fog to accompany him on his walk back, his house just as cold-

  
And him feeling that wonderful emptiness.

  
After that he never seems to get noticed unless he wants to, people’s eyes sliding straight past him, they don't not see him, he doesn’t get crushed or pushed if he’s in a crowded area, he just gets ignored, overlooked, nobody tried to make small talk, nobody asks him why he’s alone without adult supervision. He easily finds himself getting into more and more restricted areas, he walks straight into GCPD and logs onto a computer and he sits there, going through databases, reading things no preteen should, no civilian.

  
Even when the officer whose desk Tim is occupying comes back from her lunch break, she just glances at her computer, picks up a file on her desk and walks away.

  
He comes back again and again, no one stops him, no one cares. He learns about the dark, and grime of Gotham, about the incompetence of some of those on the police force, of how little they know of the vigilante Batman. About the select few officers who seem to be assigned all the weirder cases.

  
Tim watching Batman, and being afraid, being full of fear, but it was good, a good fear that chilled him to the bone and reminded him of home.

  
Tim watching Robin, twist and swirl through the air, seemingly unafraid of any height, always near the edge of any building, always in the air for an almost impossible amount of time, twisting, swirling, leaping, flying.

  
Just watching him give Tim the intense feeling of vertigo, the rush of air, of falling, no landing in sight, it reminds him of... Exactly the same feeling he had when he was very young, watching the circus, the acrobats.

  
Something clicks. After that it all connects, he knows.

Robin changes.

  
The new one, he’s very different, he feels primed, focused, he’s quick, he chases down criminals, he’s not efficient though, not really. Tim witnesses many times when this new Robin could have easily caught the crook within seconds, but he seems to let them go, just a little, never losing them, but pursuing them with a tangible glee.

  
Tim Drake watching Batman and Robin, and then seeing it become just Batman.

  
Watching Batman and slowly feeling the fear and terror shift and change, its flavour going from an almost pleasant tingle to bitter and off putting. And then an undercurrent of something very familiar.

  
Feeling the subtle waves of loneliness, old and well worn flow off Batman.

  
Feeling them be drowned out by rage, and anger and violence.

  
And knowing that it could soon turn to something tangible.

  
Tim sneaking into the Batcave, Batman left a while ago so the cave should be empty, but still shrouding himself in solitude and obscurity is second nature at this point.

  
But when this lonely little boy walks into the Batcave Alfred calls out. "Master Bruce? Back so soon?" And is surprised when it is someone else.

  
Alfred, so used to seeing past the fog of The Lonely to see Bruce, to try and pull him out, carefully trained to look where his eyes gloss over, to feel the chill and isolation in the air.

  
Tim is surprised to say the least, it has been… a while since he has had an actual interaction with another. He’s unprepared, he doesn’t want this, he just wants to be alone, why isn’t it working?

  
Static crackles in the air as he tries and tries to fall back into solitude.

  
“None of that now young master, I assure you I mean you no harm.” The old man says.

  
Tim feels stupid, why is he doing this, what was he thinking, breaking into the Batcave? For what, to wait for batman, so Tim can… Make him… It doesn’t matter, the old man, Alfred, introduces himself. Leads him upstairs into a well furnished sitting room and leaves him there to go make tea.

  
Tim’s still standing weighing his options of trying to quietly escape out of one of the windows when Alfred returns. “Sit down young sir, you’re making me tired just looking at you.”

  
So Tim sits.

  
And when Alfred asks his name he answers, and he doesn’t stop asking, Tim tells him everything, from his first time seeing Batman, to when his parents stopped calling weekly to ‘check up on him’. Tim doesn’t think he has ever said this much in his entire life. Alfred only stops when there’s a subtle beep and then he is leading Tim back towards the Batcave.

  
He is there, waiting.

  
He is very different up close, to all the times Tim had seen him from afar, nothing could prepare him for the reality of Batman. Tim’s gut clenches in fear, his body preparing for fight or flight, and then Batman removes the cowl, and it's worse, because he is human, and he looks so tired.

  
“How much do you know?” Batm- Bruce asks, and Tim starts to tell him of his connections between Dick Grayson and Robin when Bruce stops him.

  
“No,” he explains, “about the fears.”

  
Tim is confused and it must show on his face because Bruce lets out a pained sardonic laugh, “Of course,” he mutters, “you don’t even-” He stops himself.

  
“I would say that you were better off not knowing, but I think it is too late for that.”


End file.
